A healthy self-esteem equals happyness

A healthy self-esteem 

Trying to control the problem—your boss, your spouse, or your circumstances—will only keep you more attached to it and. The more you “leech” onto a problem, the more it “leeches” right back on you.
You will never be able to see the lesson or the solution if you dwell on all the little details about what seems wrong. Letting go could come in many forms: seeing the good in the person who seems difficult, accepting a situation for what it is, or seeing the other side of the story.
Any time we let go of our attachment to what went wrong or what should have happened we create the possibility of growth—and we pave the path for more positive results.

Your sense of self isn’t dependent on what other people think

THE GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
 A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of furniture,
still, treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
-Jelaluddin Rimi (Sufi poet, 1207-1279)

Our natural human inclination is to operate on the ego's "auto pilot" aka victim mode, It's the ego's defence mechanism, especially when fear based feelings of rejection, loss, shame or guilt threaten it's make-believe world.   This absolves us of any direct responsibility and places it squarely outside of ourselves. Feelings aren't "right or wrong" - "good/bad".  It's the perception and judgements that we place upon them that deem them so.  Our ego is the loud, bratty, temper-tantrum throwing aspect of our nature that will always demand our attention.  It thrives on being stroked and stoked and wails and whines at any slight - real or perceived.
Acceptance through understanding which in turn brings peace when experiencing  life's painful situations when they inevitably show up. Some of life's greatest lessons come to us in this manner.  We're twisted and contradictory by "Divine Design".  Cultivate a Sense of Humor.   Of all the senses, it is probably the most invaluable sense that we can filter our perceptions through.